Yesterday was Art Garfunkel’s birthday. Of all the Simon and Garfunkel songs, The Sound of Silence speaks to me the loudest. Perhaps it’s because it’s so ironic. Or perhaps because in the silence lies the opportunity for people to begin to listen to their inner thoughts. And yet, there are other things that begin to happen during silent times which we need to remember and consider.
Silence is Golden
We all need a little time and space away from the noise. Most of us don’t get much time to relax, and when we do, we often find we have lost the skill of listening to our own heart. So many thoughts race through our heads that we end up replicating the noise of the office, the roads or the Inbox that we were trying to avoid.
Learning to give ourselves private moments of quiet is an art. I have experienced it in the past, when living alone, on retreat and even while travelling for business. These days, it seems a little harder to get there.
I am reminded of a special challenge my daughter was set at school. There was a Sponsored Silence amongst all the 5-year-olds. It seemed hilarious at the time, the idea of trying to get 30 little children to be quiet for 30 minutes. We didn’t think any of them would be able to do it, but some did achieve it. Those that did collected their sponsorship money which went to charity. Those children who found they were unable to be quiet for 30 minutes are probably our future politicians, lawyers or pop stars.
Although the prize was a tangible one, i.e. money for charity, the real rewards were the rare peace and quiet for the teachers, and a small taste of the beauty of silence for the pupils involved in the challenge. Will they remember anything about it today, I wonder, and will they be able to re-capture that feeling at will?
Silence is not always Golden
Silence can sometimes have other, more worrying, implications. For example, radio silence when you don’t know if the other party is safe or not. The silent treatment given so effectively by a wife to her husband. The silence of a missing heartbeat when listening to an ultrasound.
In business, silence is not always appropriate either. When I taught sales training courses very early in my career, many role plays involved being silent and waiting for the customer to speak. The idea was that the first person to speak lost the game.
However, while the customer (or wife, husband, friend etc.) is being silent, neither knows what the other is thinking. The silence is only external and there can be a whole lot going on internally. People can begin to make their own assumptions, start talking themselves out of the deal, or even allow themselves to get distracted and think about something entirely unrelated. In these cases, a lot can remain unsaid which should actually be out in the open and discussed properly.
I believe that one of the key skills in business, as well as in life, is to know when to speak and what to say that takes the conversation forward. The real thought leaders that I have been privileged to work with over the years have always managed to find a way to express themselves and bring important new ideas to the table, despite a silent partner or the chatter in their own heads.
Common fears about not knowing what to say, having nothing of relevance to say, and wondering how others will react to what we say, keep far too many great ideas inside people’s heads. It is never acceptable to remain silent in the face of injustice or when something you say could help someone, comfort someone or even save a life. Those brave souls who do share their thoughts with others, especially in a book, have realized that the importance of delivering their message must be stronger than those fears, and they break free of the silence, for themselves and others.
Imagine giving yourself a moment of peace where you could discover your truth, and then imagine sending it out to the people who most need to hear that truth. There are times when powerful voices are needed to disrupt the silence. And there are people who are not enjoying the sound of your silence as much as they would enjoy the sound of your wisdom.
P.S. I had intended to post this yesterday, as a tribute to the wonderful Mr Garfunkel. Recently I have been a bit more quiet than usual because I have been travelling and speaking a lot. I finally put my thoughts together and decided to send them out to the world. Therefore, it was a real shock to find I had no Internet connection all day yesterday. The universe had rendered me silent just when I was ready to speak out…